Wake Up

Huge sigh.

So after all the eternal mushiness that was this last weekend with people going about declaring their undying gratitude to people they sometimes wish they could kill borne out on ungratefulness it was back to work and the hustle and bustle of deadlines. It was in the midst of my self-obsession that the news came to me. One of my colleagues had died.

We were not close and his been away for quite some time but the shock that comes with death concerning someone you know is great. Wow. I don’t know what to feel.

I thought I was over death. I thought I had come to accept it.

I’ve experienced plenty of death recently. Death of dreams, aspirations and most recently a relationship but to experience actual death still leaves this emptiness inside of me. I was sick for some time and spent it in hospital. During that time death was a common reminder of how short life is. So I assumed I had acquired some sort of immunity to the emotions that come with it.

It is not so. I hardly knew him yet I still feel sadness. A life is gone. Despite anyone’s best efforts and what we do, ultimately it seems to all be in vain. Or it appears to be.

I made the decision to readjust my life and so far I’ve had my ups and downs. But this has come as a reminder of the promises I made to myself should I be granted a second chance. Its here and I fully intend to take advantage of it.