20Something and Surviving

After the Revelation

It all started in Matric with my first spliff and I guess it kind of developed into something more. From weed and ecstasy I started experimenting and pretty soon I was onto stronger substances.
I really don’t want to go into detail but I was in a bad space and it all finally came to head when I ended up in hospital a few weeks before my 21st birthday and Mommy decided that enough was enough and her baby needed help.

Whilst lying there contemplating my sorry state of affairs and sinking into a depression I realised that the only person that could help me was myself. If I wanted something then I would have to work for it and get it myself. It did not help sitting thee feeling sorry for myself. I had to become proactive.

So four months and fewer friends later I signed myself out, persuaded my step dad to fund my trip of self discovery and spent close to six months in Germany living with an aunt who had emigrated before returning to finally confront my demons and get my life back in order.

I’ve re-enrolled at varsity, fell in love, had my heart broken, gotten new friends and mended some bridges with family, and everything was going so well. Then I wake up one morning and it all seems just…. Wrong.

I’ve come this far, I should be content but I want more. Much more.

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July 3, 2008 - Posted by | drugs, leez, secret

5 Comments »

  1. nothing wrong with that.!.. and like before you’re the only one that can make it happen. don’t settle for anything less, never ever… great post 🙂

    Comment by sweets | July 3, 2008 | Reply

  2. Dude, I also dabbled in the dwelms a while…and Mom’s are the first one’s to notice the ‘personality change!’
    My saving grace was an outgoing nature…the fact that I didn’t need narcs to feel happy or confident, and watching a mate get addicted and go down the tubes also scared the shit out of me.
    Not saying you need drugs to be happy and confident, but at least you had balls to accept that all this, and everything else real does start with ourselves.
    Glad to hear you didn’t let yourself become a requiem for a dream.
    Although smoking a spliff every Easter sure does make for a good evening! ha ha

    Comment by Ches | July 3, 2008 | Reply

  3. This is my first time at your blog, so I’ve got some catching up to do …

    But I agree with sweets – absolutely nothing wrong with wanting more. It’s fine to reach plateaus of contentment but without the urge to improve things for ourselves and for others, we’d wither and die.

    The trick is to figure out just what we want out of life and where we want to go. Then, what steps to take to get us there.

    I think it’s something we all face at various times in our lives and as sweets said, only we can do it, no-one’s going to do it for us. Not easy tho’!

    Comment by justBcoz | July 3, 2008 | Reply

  4. Thanks for the Constructive comments (I think).

    Just: Welcome, fan of your blog so thanks for returning the compliment. Still upset about the KFC thing tho.

    Comment by leez | July 4, 2008 | Reply

  5. Well thank you =)

    Yes, the KFC thing is very upsetting!

    Comment by justBcoz | July 4, 2008 | Reply


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