20Something and Surviving

Another One Bites The Dust

 Last week whilst everyone was preparing for the Rugby I was getting ready for yet another Wedding. Yay me. Yet another reminder that I’m in the minority when it comes to the prospects of nuptials.

Don’t get me wrong, I fully intended to go and watch what I, foolishly, thought would be the humiliation of the Ozzies but first I had to do the wedding dance first.
Yes, the bride does look lovely. Yes, I should find me a decent girl to settle down with. No, these chancers won’t fool me. Yes, One of these days I will also be standing up there shitting my pants realising I may have made a monumental mistake. Uhuh, nod, smile, sip. Fuck it. Gulp.

This time the lucky oke is someone I went to school with and it made me realise how much we’ve all changed. Not just physically, which btw came as quite a shock- how is possible that men gain so much weight after finding their “life partner”? – But also the sudden maturity that comes out of nowhere. Guys who wouldn’t think twice about getting supremely wasted and doing asinine things like mooning a couple of pensioners are now behaving like… ADULTS!!!!

I read somewhere that more and more South Africans are deciding to take the plunge and tie the knot. It also says that although the divorce rate had decreased most divorces resulted from first marriages. Hmm… And just to make me feel better, more men are getting married later in life. So I’m not completely alone after all.

Anyway, left the church and went to Rugby which was a waste of time but still drank with a couple of mates from Oz ( yes migration in reverse does occur occasionally), having to admit that we were thrashed royally.

This weekend I’m off the hook as there are no weddings but there is a major Bday coming up and there are heavy hints of a possible proposal… can’t wait  😦



August 28, 2008 Posted by | friends, leez | , | 4 Comments


I’m really enjoying the quiet that is my office environment at the moment. Everyone is away at some workshop and because I decided to take a day off last week I was lucky enough to miss out on going. Poor sods.

There is something weirdly comforting about the calm that is the office with only the hum of my PC and 5fm to keep me company. I’ve been here three hours now and already been on two smoke breaks and had coffee with the front desk girl. And I manged to do 40% of my work for today. Its amazing what can be done without any distractions.

The quiet has also allowed me to clear my head and put things into perspective. I’ve written down everything I’m struggling with and formulating possible solutions. So I now know exactly whats going on and what need to be done. Its all been in my head but I guess my brain’s been oxygen starved due to hyperventilating and could not function properly.

G arrived last night with a couple of bottles of wine and put things into perspective. We had a long chat, reminisced about the good old days in Cape Town, cried about the fact that we are indeed growing up and then watched the Olympics (good luck Nhlapo) and had a parents slamming contest when we decided that if it werent for them (the parents) we could also be gold medal winning, globe trooting, endorsement having (?) icons.

Then we switched over to Oprah and once again I’ve decided that in my next life I want to be either Steadman or Gail King. Or the kid that Oprah never had. G wanted to be Joan of Arc. Anyway I digress. Oprah’s being doing a lot of “lala” things lately, along with the usual giving. I blame this on that new age book she’s been punting.

Like any decent fan I got a copy of Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth. I had a friend of mine that works in a book store secure me a copy. There were none left and the staff were holding aside that one copy to be read amongst themselves. Regarding the Book: I’m not a fan. Its just like when she tried plugging the secret. I’m really not into that whole “you design your own destiny” shit. And I think Oprah is slowly losing the plot. All that money has gone to her head. She should relieve herself of it and donate some to an almost needy, almost kid in Africa, i.e. me. But it does make for entertaining viewing.

Anyway back to the silence… I’m listening to my song of the moment and trying to enjoy every second coz who knows when an opportunity like this may come around again.

August 21, 2008 Posted by | friends, leez | 4 Comments

Face to Face

So… I’ve succumbed. I went out last night and actually watched the Sex and The City Movie. I’ve been putting it off for quite a while but finally, because G had to endure Indiana Jones (so did I- it was awful), I had to reciprocate. And surprisingly… It wasn’t bad. Still major chick flick but I could live with it.

I actually enjoy going out with G and catching up on what’s been going on in our lives. We chat like everyday but electronically so a decent face to face is much better than misspelled words. I’m quite vocal and she’s quite handsy so we always make a noise wherever we go just to make a point.

The problem with both your bestest friends being of the female persuasion and you being not means that you have to sometimes make certain sacrifices. But the cool thing is I trust them way more than I trust my male buds. The dynamics are completely different but I’ve known these people for years and I guess its not a question of their gender but their personalities and attributes. Gender doesn’t necessitate your level of loyalty or trust. It is not dependant on your gender whether you are a good friend or not but rather the experiences that you both have endured. In my opinion, at least.

G is a particularly good friend. We lived together for sometime and I almost killed her but we got over that. Tip: never move in with your best friend, you discover things you shouldn’t know. Anyway she credits herself with trying to teach me the finer things in life and I credit myself with having taught her how to drink most men under the table, how to use any situation to your advantage and how to let some things go.

So it’s been mutually beneficial. Yes, I can get pissed when she calls me at 5 in the morning “just to chat” because she’s been at work since four but that’s a small price to pay for having such an invaluable friend. I guess I’m lucky. She likes to remind me of that.

June 11, 2008 Posted by | friends, sex and the city | 5 Comments

Doing It For A Friend

So I’ve gone on about how technology is not exactly a friend to me and yet I treasure it more than I some of my friends. We have some sort of symbiotic relationship with me needing it to survive and it feeding off of me.

That said it also displays remarkably similar traits of some people in that it can turn or just plain old shut down on you when you least expect it. Least expect it meaning when yo haven’t saved or created any backups, largely due to the fact you couldn’t think straight beacause it was late, you were dying, and it was either you saved or you left immediately and didn’t miss happy hour. One of those.

Anyway, I guess the point is that technology let me down, I needed it and so I had to resort to drastic measures. I may have mentioned before that getting anyone form IT to see to your problem is virtually impossible unless you do not need them but I have found some ways of getting around it.

Our IT guy is a nice enough dude and when he finally does get here he gets on with it. So the problem is getting him here. How can I work if I do not have my tools?

So this dude likes other dudes and so I’ve kinda been… I don’t know… leading him on? Its just that I need my friend back and so a little flirting has never hurt. Women do it all the time and I’ve done it a couple of times with great success so why do I feel so guilty?

June 6, 2008 Posted by | friends, IT | Leave a comment

Quarterlife Crisis

This is going to be a long one…

I wrote a few weeks ago at the start of my Blog that I was feeling somewhat stifled or stunted. Didn’t know what to call it but then Peas introduced me to the concept of a quarter-life crisis. I went on about it, had a few morose posts and then decided in typical Leez fashion to do something about it.

The result has been interesting. Old and new relationships have been affected. But I know it’s for the best. It has to be. Otherwise I’m screwed. And not in a good way.

So where am I going with this? Well, my friends had to endure my whaling and since one of their requirements as a “friend of Leez” is to be thoughtful and to pay attention when Leez utters this was forwarded to me. Its like one those chain email things but I didn’t mind this time. I decided to see how I’m doing. This is my blog so everything has to apply to me. Below is the mail:

Being Twenty-something – they call it the “Quarter-life Crisis”.
Okay. Good to know. I’m not the only one.

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realising that there are many things about yourself that you didn’t know and may not like.
Well, like is a strong word. Maybe not particularly fond of. But check.

You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realising that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren’t exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones.
Check, check and, thank Oprah I got rid of Z, check! And M, and X and C, I, not to mention MD. Do I have any friends left…? And there areasons you lose touch with people.

What you don’t recognise is that they are realising that too, and aren’t really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
Really? Could have fooled me. It just seems to come so naturally to some.

You look at your job … and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realising that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.
Check. I think I need a drink.

Your opinions have gotten stronger.
Check. 🙂 That’s a positive… right?

You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usualbecause suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in yourlife and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptableand what isn’t. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused.

Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realise that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
Somebody hold me. Sob.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can’t meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better.
Preach on…Check.

Or maybe you love someone but they love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren’t a bad person.One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap.
Sounds famliar. Again cheap is such a harsh word.

Getting wasted and acting like an idiot doesn’t seem as fun.
I’m getting old. I’m only 22. How can this be?

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.
Or else our lives are so dull that we have nothing else to talk about. But Check.

You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself…and while winning the race would be great, right now you’d just like to be a contender!

What you may not realise is that everyone reading this relates to it.
Now you tell me.

We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
Waiting in eager anticipation for the best.

Okay here is where it gets all chain emaily but it made me feel a bit better. Sometimes the fire does not seem as hot when there are others in there with you. It goes on to say;

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.”

It’s really amazing when two strangers become the best of friends, but it is really sad when the best of friends become two strangers.

It goes on to say pass it on to al twentysomethings you know so I’ve passed it onto to my two sole readers. What I’ve learnt lately is to just take things as they come. I’m just coping, I guess.

And that is not such a bad thing.

May 15, 2008 Posted by | 20something, coping, friends, lost, quarter life crisis | 4 Comments