20Something and Surviving

Leez’ Inbox

I’m enjoying this emptying out my mail box thing that I’ve got going. Saves me actually posting. I think I’ll post them on weekends and call it something like Leez Extra or something equally stupid yet catchy. What do you think? For now I’m working with Leez Inbox but Extra sounds better… This one I received form a female. As if you couldn’t guess.

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female… Any part under a car’s hood.
Male…. The strap fastener on bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female…. Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.
Male…. Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female… The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.
Male… Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female… A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male…… Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female…. A good movie, concert, play or book. Male… Anything that can be done whilst drinking beer.

6. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female… The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male… Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

7. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female…. A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male… A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

He said … I don’t know why you wear a bra; you’ve got nothing to put in it.
She said . . . You wear pants don’t you?

He said … Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said…That’s a good idea – you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said …What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said…Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said …Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
She said … They don’t have time

She said…Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and
Good-looking?
He said … They already have boyfriends.

She said …What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
He said . . . A widow.

He said . . . Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said … Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge.

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June 13, 2008 Posted by | laziness, mars, men, venus, women | Leave a comment

Leez’ Inbox

I’m sifting through my email. Yes, I have better things to do but…. Anyway, came across this and decided to share. These are all supposedly facts. I think that when I have nothing to moan about I’m just going to post whatever I want from my emails.

In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.)

In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman’s genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination.
He may only see their reflection in a mirror. (Do they look different reversed?)

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. (Much worse than “going blind!”)

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having
sex for the first time… Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly
forbidden for virgins to marry. (Let’s just think for a minute; is
there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to
this?)

In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her
adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The
husband’s lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner
desired. (Justice prevails!)

In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the
first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the
act. (Not cool man!!!)

In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a
woman and her daughter at the same time. (I presume this was a big
enough problem that they had to pass this law?)

In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with
one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine
only “in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on
the premises.” (Is this a great country or what? Though not as great
as Guam!)

And some interesting little-known facts: Banging your head against a
wall uses 150 calories an hour. (And who volunteers for this lunacy?)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(Oh! That’s why Flipper was always smiling?)

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own
weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (From
drinking little bottles of…? — did the govt. pay for this
research??)

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)

Starfish don’t have brains. (I know some people like that too)

And, the best for last… Turtles can breathe through their arses.
(I know people who can talk through theirs!)

June 11, 2008 Posted by | men, random, sex, women | 4 Comments