20Something and Surviving

Quarter Life Crisis: Round 2

Last week was dominated by the flooding of the KZN south coast and World Refugee day. It was both work related but I am continuously surprised by Human stories.

I have posted previously about this but nothing compares to raw human emotion in the face adversity. The floods made me realize that every one is susceptible to tragedy irrespective of their social standing.

I spent last Friday with a group of foreign nationals, great guys, who were all now trying to secure a living in our country. All were legal immigrants and all were disgusted by the recent going-ons in this country. They also all had one message that they wanted to get across: We Are Africans Too.

Friday also saw the launch of the Orange ribbon campaign that is meant as a way to create awareness around anti racism campaigns.

I do not see how wearing a ribbon change human nature but I remain hopeful that it is just a sort of branding material to easily identify the cause. Much like the pink and red ribbons used for Cancer and AIDS respectively. It is admirable. However that people have decided to do something rather than look on and click their tongues or shake their head in disapproval yet do nothing.

Okay… that over, my week was also dominated by graduation and celebration. Graduation was kind of bittersweet for me as it made me realize how far I had come from that kid four years ago. So much has happened, not all bad, and I think it has made me an entirely different person. Not one that I would have liked a few years ago but I ma very comfortable with the person that I have become even though I may not be happy with some of the decisions I have made.

I’m told its all a part of the growing process. Graduation also made me face what I already knew: I am not happy in my current job. Now, I know that everyone says that, But I ma truly not in a good space at the moment and I am seriously toying with the idea of leaving. It’s not so much the career choice itself because I still have the desire but I just feel that at the moment I am not being challenged enough. I am bored. And I don’t like being bored.

My Gran used to say that only lazy people with small brains are bored. I am not one of those people or at least I aspire to be something better. I hate being told that I am still young and have plenty of time to make these decisions. That’s not true. I look around and see everyone else moving on in some sort of forward direction but I seem to be stagnating.

I don’t know. But what I do know is that I will have to make a decision soon. And it may not be one that the kid of four or maybe even a year ago would have liked.


June 24, 2008 Posted by | decisions, Graduation, growing up, orange ribbon, quarter life crisis | 4 Comments

Quarterlife Crisis

This is going to be a long one…

I wrote a few weeks ago at the start of my Blog that I was feeling somewhat stifled or stunted. Didn’t know what to call it but then Peas introduced me to the concept of a quarter-life crisis. I went on about it, had a few morose posts and then decided in typical Leez fashion to do something about it.

The result has been interesting. Old and new relationships have been affected. But I know it’s for the best. It has to be. Otherwise I’m screwed. And not in a good way.

So where am I going with this? Well, my friends had to endure my whaling and since one of their requirements as a “friend of Leez” is to be thoughtful and to pay attention when Leez utters this was forwarded to me. Its like one those chain email things but I didn’t mind this time. I decided to see how I’m doing. This is my blog so everything has to apply to me. Below is the mail:

Being Twenty-something – they call it the “Quarter-life Crisis”.
Okay. Good to know. I’m not the only one.

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realising that there are many things about yourself that you didn’t know and may not like.
Well, like is a strong word. Maybe not particularly fond of. But check.

You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realising that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren’t exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones.
Check, check and, thank Oprah I got rid of Z, check! And M, and X and C, I, not to mention MD. Do I have any friends left…? And there areasons you lose touch with people.

What you don’t recognise is that they are realising that too, and aren’t really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
Really? Could have fooled me. It just seems to come so naturally to some.

You look at your job … and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realising that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.
Check. I think I need a drink.

Your opinions have gotten stronger.
Check. 🙂 That’s a positive… right?

You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usualbecause suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in yourlife and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptableand what isn’t. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused.

Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realise that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
Somebody hold me. Sob.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can’t meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better.
Preach on…Check.

Or maybe you love someone but they love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren’t a bad person.One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap.
Sounds famliar. Again cheap is such a harsh word.

Getting wasted and acting like an idiot doesn’t seem as fun.
I’m getting old. I’m only 22. How can this be?

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.
Or else our lives are so dull that we have nothing else to talk about. But Check.

You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself…and while winning the race would be great, right now you’d just like to be a contender!

What you may not realise is that everyone reading this relates to it.
Now you tell me.

We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
Waiting in eager anticipation for the best.

Okay here is where it gets all chain emaily but it made me feel a bit better. Sometimes the fire does not seem as hot when there are others in there with you. It goes on to say;

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.”

It’s really amazing when two strangers become the best of friends, but it is really sad when the best of friends become two strangers.

It goes on to say pass it on to al twentysomethings you know so I’ve passed it onto to my two sole readers. What I’ve learnt lately is to just take things as they come. I’m just coping, I guess.

And that is not such a bad thing.

May 15, 2008 Posted by | 20something, coping, friends, lost, quarter life crisis | 4 Comments