20Something and Surviving

Blame it on Hormones

I’m Pathetic. And weak.

Despite my best attempts I’m actually tempted to go back to M. We actually had a decent conversation last night. Up to a point. It was very civil ranging from what are you up to, to condolences to what’s new in your life lately.

I played along nicely because I have this resolution that I will stop being such a prick and start being nice to people. It’s all a part of my plan. The thing about me is that I like plans. I like to categorise things. It’s just that my head doesn’t always follow these plans.

Anyway, in typical female fashion (sorry ladies), she starts fishing. What are up to…are you seeing anyone…

M: so what are you doing with yourself?

Leez: Nothing much, just busy lately. Work and stuff.

M: Okay. And how’s the gf?

Leez: I don’t have one. I’m not the one who was seeing other people remember?

M: Oh. Okay. But you were also cheating

Leez: Not really, I slept with my ex twice and we weren’t even exclusive then. You the one that thought you found something better and lied to me.
How is he anyway?

M: We not together anymore… he lied to me. Has a bf.

Leez: Sorry to hear that.

The conversation went on that same note until…

M: So do you want me back?

Leez: No.

M: Oh okay.

Leez: Why would I. you’re a liar and a cheat and I don’t trust you. But we can be friends. I have no grudges.

I was tempted believe me. We had good times and it was actually the first relationship that I saw going somewhere but it was not to be. I guess I was weak coz it’s been a long time since I got laid. These raging hormones impair ones judgment. Ya. That’s it. Blame it on the hormones.


May 21, 2008 Posted by | hormones, leez, mail, relationships, sex, stalker | 12 Comments

Simple Obsessional

Being the avid and disciplined (yeah right) individual that I am I did some research on stalkers. I can get somewhat obsessive like that. Must be the reason I attract these weirdos or am attracted to them.

Anyway I found out the following:
There are three types of stalkers namely Simple obsessional, Love obsessional Erotomania or false victimisation. Google it if you must.

I’m dealing with just the one. I think. I hope. The Simple (!), which is supposedly “ most common form is male with a female with whom he was once sexually intimate”. But in reverse. I’ve spammed but that little box still appears and my curiosity is getting the better of me.
She claims she just wants to be friends. I believe in the adage that breaking up with someone and saying we can still be friends is like your dog dying and your mom saying you can still keep it. Not gonna happen.

Usually when it ends and it usually does, my dear friends (incorrectly) call me a male whore, its amicable. This is because we both have the silent agreement that we would do the avoidance thing. Then months later we see each other and give the nod and timid smile and things progress as they are meant to. But this vamp is totally messing with the system.

I continue to ponder…

May 14, 2008 Posted by | break-ups, obsession, relationships, stalker | Leave a comment

You’ve Got Mail

I’m going home.

The sound of an incoming message is getting to me… I just may do something crazy like raise my voice in the office. Maybe thump my head heavily on the desk. Crack a pencil in half using mental force. Or finally tell the dude in the office next to mine that his shirt is so ugly. And Gay. And not in a good way either.

Another message. How do I block the sender? List them as Spam?

Help. Please.

May 13, 2008 Posted by | gay, leez, mail, stalker | Leave a comment